I’ve worked out how it can be done

From Mike Etienne.

IT was with great interest that I read about the proposed feasibility study of the bridge to France. I am a great fan of bridges (having lit some in the past) as bridges link cultures and places.

As something of an ideas and engineering person I have looked at some of the technicalities involving this link and have come up with the solutions.

Firstly, we drive on the left while in France they drive on the right. A switchover would be needed and this would be exactly in the middle of the bridge (very fair to all). As petrol is cheaper in France the crossover would be higher from France to Jersey thereby allowing for the extra power required to climb a bit higher.

Secondly we need to address the daily influx and departure of all those vehicles so we will need to pave over the whole of the south east reef area from Gorey to the Reclamation Site and allow direct vehicular access and parking into St Helier. Otherwise all those vehicles will have to use the road from St Catherine’s into town – it won’t take too much imagination to foresee the traffic, just look at the jams we already have every day to and from St Brelade.

This will mean that we lose a bit of World Heritage Site but nothing is free. We will of course leave a bit around Green Island with pipes to give the tidal movement for a new sea lake (and it will be possible to ride a horse to Seymour Tower at any time.

Thirdly, we will need to wait until the underground road is built so that we will be able to utilise all the extra housing that will require building for all the Harcourt development staff, so that once they have left we will be able to house all the new workers for the perceived projects.

Lastly we will have to become a member of the EU as we will be inexorably linked to mainland Europe so the finance industry will also leave for cheaper climes. This will be OK, as no more trade will be done in Jersey as everyone will then go to France so we won’t need any new supermarkets either.

Now that I have solved all the little niggles I look forward to receiving my £1m consultancy fee. Cheque payable, please, to The Ideas Source.

La Golondrina,

Rue de Samarès,

St Clement.

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