AS the news has been a bit grim recently, yesterday we republished the first half of a little feel-good feature we ran in the paper a few years ago. Here’s the final instalment celebrating the good bits about our Island home.
And if you missed it, you can read Part 1 here
26. Enjoying a beer while watching the sunset at St Ouen’s Bay is the perfect end to the day. But let’s face it, a pint of dishwater would taste just lovely with a view like that.
27. Most of the UK have big, angry, dirty, grey squirrels. We have cute little red ones.
28. Our Island is magic. Literally, it pretty much doubles in size every time the tide goes out.
29. Some internet connections in rural England are so slow that instead of trying to find something out online it would be quicker to get in a car, drive to a Waterstones and buy an Encyclopedia Britannica. Ours, meanwhile, is one of the fastest in the world.
30. We have Durrell. They save animals across the world from extinction. And their café does excellent coffee. What’s not to like.
31. Ever been to a tip/recycling centre in the UK? Most of the time you can smell them before you can see them. Horrible places. Not ours. Ours is lovely. Yes, we have a lovely recycling centre.
32. And we have Acorn. What a wonderful organisation doing wonderful things. Very well done to everyone involved with this gem of a charity.
33. We have our own language. Sâpré mille pipes! Know what that means? Thought not. It doesn’t matter that hardly any of us can speak it. It’s just nice to have. (It was ‘good heavens’, by the way.)
34. The Steam Clock. Whooah, Hang on. Let us explain. It may have cost £250,000. And it may be falling to bits inside. But, if nothing else, it is a reminder that we live in an Island that used to be very rich. Doesn’t it make you proud.
35. We all give lots of money to charity. Give yourself a big pat on the back.
36. We are the friendliest drivers in the world. If you stop and try to give way to another motorist in a city in the UK, the recipient assumes they are about to be car-jacked. Not so here – we give way to other drivers so often it’s amazing we ever get anywhere.
37. The Vienna Bakery shop in the Central Market. Wonderful bread. Amazing cakes. We could go on. OK then, we will. Duffins (the sweet, juice-laden lovechild of a doughnut and a muffin). Jersey Wonders. Jersey Gache. Did we mention Duffins? No, OK then. Duffins.
38. Beancrock. Who’d have thought that throwing beans and a bit of pork into a pot and leaving it in the oven for half a day could produce something so lovely?
39. We are officially the warmest and sunniest place in the British Isles. Other places, like Bognor Regis and the very silly Isles of Scilly, sometimes try to lay claim to the title. But, come the summer, our sunburnt faces will say otherwise.
40. We grow our own tea. God knows why. But we do. And it makes us sound quite fancy.
41. People think we are sooo continental. French road names. French place names. French surnames. They all make us feel that we live somewhere slightly continental, and it doesn’t matter that some of us can’t pronounce them.
42. We don’t have foxes. The upside to this is that, apart from seagulls, there is nothing out there which will trash your bin. The downside is there is nothing to keep our feral chicken population in check. So sometimes they have to be shot.
43. Liberation Day gives us one extra public holiday than our friends and family in the UK. Come on, who hasn’t emailed a mate in England on 8th May to ask them what they are doing with their day off tomorrow, just because you want them to confirm in writing that they will actually be at work. (Extra points to those who send a follow-up email on the 9th, attaching a picture of themselves at the beach/having a barbecue.)
44. We still have lots of pubs. And craft ale houses. Whatever they are.
45. Astronomical house prices. What? Seriously? This is positive? Well, for some, yes. Many, many people may be struggling to get on the ladder, but there is another side to this. Those who do own a property can sell, move somewhere cheaper, and bank a hell of a lot of cash. And by cheaper, we mean practically anywhere else in the world.
46. First: Wake up. Second: Get dressed. Third: Drive to St Catherine. Four: Buy a bacon roll. Five. Enjoy. No finer start to a day. Fact.
47. In the summer you can catch a mackerel and have it for your dinner. Well, most summers you can. It didn’t happen so much this year. Possibly due to the fact that sometimes the fishing is bad for no reason, or possibly because massive Russian trawlers were scooping them up in the Channel. No evidence either way, but probably best to blame the Russians.
48. Our cows are so pretty. There is a reason why nowhere else in the world puts cows on their postcards. Think of the giant, dinosaur-like black and white beasts stomping around muddy fields in the UK. Then think of our slightly-built, friendly doe-eyed girls. Their beauty stops locals and tourists in their tracks. Oh, and they produce the world’s greatest milk. Bravo, ladies.
49. Okay, Jersey may not be the we-have-been-leaving-our-homes-and-cars-un-locked-for-so-long-we’ve-forgotten-where-we-have-put-the-keys haven of tranquillity that it used to be, but our crime rates are among the lowest in Britain.
50. We aren’t Guernsey.
